So I went to the movies yesterday. Friday night, alone, to watch the new Spider-Man film. And I was genuinely excited because I’ve been waiting four years for this one. Four years. That’s long enough to finish a degree, change careers, and become a completely…

We are really good at being funny on the internet. We turn our anxiety into memes. We make jokes about not being able to afford houses, about sending resumes into the void, about lying awake at 3am thinking about something embarrassing we said in 2014….

There used to be a version of quiet that was just… quiet. You’d sit somewhere, do nothing, and that was fine. Nobody asked what you were thinking about. Nobody expected you to be productive with your stillness. Calm was just calm. It didn’t cost anything….

Ada satu jenis perasaan yang susah sekali dijelaskan dengan kata biasa. Bukan patah hati. Bukan kehilangan. Tapi lebih ke… perasaan bahwa kamu memang tidak pernah benar-benar tinggal. Kamu datang, kamu hadir, kamu bahkan mungkin dicintai. Tapi entah kenapa, kamu tahu sejak awal bahwa kamu hanya…

I think about this more than I probably should. That one day, every version of me that exists in someone else’s mind will be the only version that’s left.