There used to be a version of quiet that was just… quiet. You’d sit somewhere, do nothing, and that was fine. Nobody asked what you were thinking about. Nobody expected you to be productive with your stillness. Calm was just calm. It didn’t cost anything….

Ada satu jenis perasaan yang susah sekali dijelaskan dengan kata biasa. Bukan patah hati. Bukan kehilangan. Tapi lebih ke… perasaan bahwa kamu memang tidak pernah benar-benar tinggal. Kamu datang, kamu hadir, kamu bahkan mungkin dicintai. Tapi entah kenapa, kamu tahu sejak awal bahwa kamu hanya…

I think about this more than I probably should. That one day, every version of me that exists in someone else’s mind will be the only version that’s left.

Kami tumbuh dengan layar yang selalu menyala. Dan di dalam layar itu, selalu ada seseorang yang hidupnya kelihatan lebih jauh dari hidup kami.

There’s a specific kind of exhaustion that comes from running a race you didn’t sign up for. You can see it in people if you look closely enough. The way they talk about their futures with a kind of pre-emptive apology built in.