When I was a kid, I always wanted to grow up fast. Being an adult looked so good. You get to hold your own money, leave the house whenever you want, buy anything without asking permission. I used to look at grown-ups and think, must be nice, they are free. I did not know anything yet about what they were actually carrying.

Now I have reached the exact point I used to want. And funny enough, the thing I miss the most is the time I used to think was nothing special.

I miss waking up in the morning when my only problem that day was not wanting to take a bath. I miss coming home from school, changing clothes, and going straight out to play until I lost track of time. I miss my grandmother yelling at me to come home because it was already dark. I used to get annoyed every time she called me home while I was still having fun. Now I realize that was actually one of the most peaceful moments of my life.

Back then I thought life was hard because there was too much homework, because I could not watch TV before studying, because my allowance was small. Turns out that was not hard at all. That was just the lightest version of life, and I lived through it without realizing how light it was.

Now I wake up in the morning and my head is instantly full. Thinking about work, about money, about the future, about things that have not even happened yet. Sometimes I sit for a moment and realize it has been a long time since my mind was truly empty. A mind that thinks about nothing. That used to be the normal state. Now it feels like a luxury.

What I miss the most is not the toys, not the snacks, not the morning cartoons. What I miss is the feeling of having no burden. The feeling where tomorrow was not something to worry about, but just another day to play again.

I used to think being an adult was the goal. Something to chase as fast as possible. I did not know that every time I took one step closer to being grown up, I was quietly leaving something behind. And the cruel part is, that something can never be taken back.

I do not regret growing up. It had to happen, and there are good things I can only have now. But if I am being honest, once in a while I want to go back, just for a little while. Not forever. Just one afternoon, playing until I lose track of time, thinking about nothing, with my only worry being getting called home because it is already dark.

Maybe that is the thing nobody told me when I was little. That the time I wanted to rush through the most would turn out to be the time I would miss the most.